Mars, Venus, Scented Tea, And Blue Pills
by fluffybluff
Summary: Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and it takes them forever to understand each other. How will Kenshin and Kaoru make their arranged marriage work when they only know each other for three days? Rated M for sexuality.


Disclaimer: Standard

AN: I wrote this when I was bored. A little too frank and perverted, I know, and I hope it's not too much. I write this in a flash, so please remind me if something doesn't sound right in this fic! And, if you're wondering about grammar, my grammar sucks. There's nothing I can do about it :P I love reviews, suggestions and advice; supportive praises (who doesn't? Mwahahah) but I do not welcome flames and people who come and said "It's disgusting boo boo" without stating the reason why… Yeah, to hell with freedom of speech, I'm an ugly despot :P lastly, please read, review, and enjoy! :D

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MARS, VENUS, SCENTED TEA AND BLUE PILLS

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"He rejected me," said Kaoru with a mournful face. Megumi and Misao looked at her.

"What?"

"He didn't do anything on our wedding night! He kissed me, he groped me, he untied the knot on my yukata, he saw me half naked, and then he said, 'I'm tired, let's go to sleep.' What the hell is wrong with that guy?" Kaoru hissed. Megumi and Misao looked at each other, confused.

"So, after three days being a married woman, you're still a virgin?" Misao asked.

"Yeah…" Kaoru sulked. Misao patted her head sympathetically while Megumi snorted.

"See? I told you not to agree with this whole arranged marriage thing. I mean, come on! You're not some princess from an old kabuki story! I mean, your parents even said that it is okay for you to change your mind and refused the betrothal!" said Megumi.

"Well she's not a princess, but she IS filthy rich…" Misao reminded her. Megumi glared at her.

"Well, just so you know, I have been brought up with a belief that one day Himura Kenshin will become my husband! I lived my life preparing for that!"

"And that's why you're stupid! It's like you're blindly following a cult, and now that cult will cause you to stay virgin forever! You've been brainwashed!" Megumi said. Kaoru looked at her, annoyed.

"Well, we all have stupid dreams. My dream is to marry a stranger I only know from my parents' stories and rumours and spend the rest of my life with him. Your dream is to become a successful psychiatrist, grow old as an independent woman who doesn't need any guy and then die a lonely death with twelve kittens surrounding your deathbed. And don't get me started about Misao's dream. Being a ninja? Come on! Who the hell needs a ninja when you can just tap a phone call and kill someone miles away from you with a sniper?" Kaoru burst out. Megumi's face became a little red, while Misao frowned.

"Hey! I didn't say that your marriage is stupid!" said Misao. Megumi cleared her throat.

"Okay, fine. Maybe there's a reason behind his rejection. Because as far as I know, no men can refuse sex. Maybe he's gay. I mean, he looks pretty feminine with his long hair and such…"

"Or maybe he has a physical problem? Maybe he couldn't get it up?" Misao asked. Kaoru shrugged.

"I don't know."

"What about mentally?"

Kaoru looked at Megumi.

"Well, someone told me that his ex girlfriend came to the wedding… They broke up because of me…" she answered quietly. Megumi and Misao looked at each other, and then they took Kaoru's hands.

"THAT might not be the reason. You should talk to him." Megumi said sternly.

"Yeah, after all, they said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus." Misao added. Kaoru sighed.

"He probably hated me because he had to break up with his girlfriend in order to marry me. I mean, is there any other possible reason than that? He" she asked pesimistically. Megumi and Misao looked at each other.

"I don't know…" Megumi muttered quietly.

**OOOOO**

"It's because of my dad." Kenshin said with a grim face. Sano and Aoshi frowned.

"Hiko-san?"

"My dad... He…" Kenshin felt so choked. He never liked his dad, but he couldn't imagine that his dad could ruin his important night like that.

"What happened?" asked Aoshi, still with his expressionless face.

"Well, first of all, before I got into the room with Kaoru, he dragged me into a quiet corner for a 'father and son' talk. He asked me stuff like, do I know what blow job is and such…"

"Your dad knows that your wedding night wouldn't be your first time, right?" asked Sano, a little confused. Kenshin shrugged.

"Anyways, at one point he started talking about him and Mom. He started to tell me in detail what he did to Mom on their wedding night. Graphic explanation. And then he went on about sensitive areas of women. Mom's areas. Then he started comparing her with a porn movie to tell me how unrealistic porns are."

"Wow." Sano said. No wonder Kenshin looked so scarred. Kenshin looked at him with an empty gaze.

"He went so far as to show me a girl's orgasmic face, and at one point he was imitating Mom… It was not a pretty sight. Apparently she looked and sounded like a horse."

Sano looked at him with a horror on his face while Aoshi, even though as expressionless as ever, decided to chug down the whiskey directly from the bottle.

"Do you want me to show you what kind of face my father made that night?" asked Kenshin, almost sounded like a machine.

"Please don't…" begged Sano weakly.

"And then when I was going upstairs to meet Kaoru, he patted my back and said that in some tradition, when a guy failed to fulfill his duty to his wife, the village chieftain will cut his balls as a punishment and offer them to the fertility God."

**THUMP.**

Aoshi slammed the empty whiskey bottle on the table. He drank half a bottle by himself, and now his face was red. He looked at Kenshin, still with his stoic face.

"What about the second night?" He changed the subject. Sano looked relieved and Kenshin looked at Aoshi with an embarrassed grin on his face.

"Well… I was rejected." He said lightly with a small chuckle.

"Rejected?" asked Aoshi. Sano looked at Kenshin, confused.

"I was still scarred from the talk, but when I saw her in her black lacy lingerie with garter belt when I came home from work, I got all happy and excited again. She really looked good in those…"

"Yeah, I can imagine…" Sano said with a dreamy voice.

"Hmm." Aoshi agreed with a small, cool hum. Kenshin frowned.

"She's my wife. You're not supposed to think of her like that." Said Kenshin with an annoyed voice. Sano snorted.

"Then don't go telling people what kind of lingerie she likes to wear! Anyways, what happened after that?" asked Sano curious.

"I started kissing her and took her to the bed, but then I saw her _freezing_ on the spot."

"Freezing?"

"She looked like an Egyptian mummy with her hands crossed in front of her chest and her eyes shut out. She looked a little scared, so I stopped." Kenshin explained. Sano nodded understandingly and grinned.

"Actually, your wedding gift I ordered a long time ago has arrived. I think it will solve your problem." He handed a small paperbag to Kenshin.

"Oh, thanks. What's this?" Kenshin took a peak and frowned. It was a bag of suspicious looking Chinese scented tea. Sano sniggered.

"Aphrodisiac tea. I bought it for you, just in case you can't keep up with her and you're too embarrassed to use the blue pills. But maybe she needs it more than you…" Sano Explained. Kenshin shook his head.

"I don't want to force her into something she doesn't like…"

"Well, she's your wife, and it's your job to make her like it…" Sano replied casually. Aoshi cleared his throat.

"I heard something about that Kamiya girl…" He said and Kenshin and Sano looked at Aoshi.

"Something?" Kenshin asked.

"I heard from a friend who went to college with her, once she made a big ruckus by rejecting a yakuza's son. She went around screaming that she was still pure and her virginity was only for her husband… I think she even screamed your name during that debacle…" Aoshi told Kenshin. Kenshin slapped his forehead.

"That's why people looked at me weirdly and started whispering suspiciously when I went to pick her up at her campus..." He mumbled. Sano squinted his eyes and looked at Aoshi.

"So, you're saying that she's probably scared because she _might_ be a virgin…" he concluded.

**OOOOO**

"Of course I'm scared! I'm not experienced like you guys and I seriously didn't know what to do, so I just stayed there and closed my eyes." Kaoru said. Megumi sighed.

"No wonder he backed out."

"You should at least reciprocated his kiss." Misao suggested. Kaoru pouted.

"I did kiss him back! It's just that when he's on top of me, I didn't know what to do… He should have just gone on with it! Damn that guy…" Misao and Megumi giggled.

"You know, let's make him go all the way without you having to do anything…" Megumi said**. **Her vixen ears popped out as she took her prescription pad and wrote something on it.

"Here,you can buy these two at the pharmacy, mix them together and then use it in his drink." She continued while giving her the paper. Kaoru looked at her, clueless.

"What's this?"

"Boner pills mixed with aphrodisiac. The kind that you could use to drug some drunk girl before taking her to the hotel and rape her brain out." Megumi answered calmly, too calm for such a bizarre explanation. Kaoru looked at her in shock while Misao congratulated her for her brilliant idea.

"I DON'T WANNA DRUG MY HUSBAND!" She shrieked. Megumi shook her head.

"No, no… Drugging someone and _this_ are two totally different things. You'll mix the pill into his drinks and then he'll be all over you all night, and then the next morning you'll explain to him what happened last night and he'll be like 'oh my baby wants me so bad that she had to do these thing' and then he will be all loving and then he will hug you and you guys will hump each other again. Flawless." Megumi explained it with a glimpse of evil in her eyes. Kaoru blushed while Misao laughed.

"There's no way that everything is going to work out that well." Kaoru said. Misao shrugged.

"Maybe he doesn't want to do it because you're a virgin. I heard that guys don't like virgins?" she asked Megumi dumbly. Megumi grinned.

"They don't like virgins because those girls tend to make everything complicated. Kaoru and Ken-san's situation is already beyond complicated. So if he doesn't tap that ass, he won't get anything good out of this whole marriage thing." Megumi said carelessly. Kaoru glared at her, but Misao shook his head.

"Well, with this marriage, he gets the company merger done. When he gets more money he can afford himself some mistresses." Misao reminded Megumi. Kaoru shook her head in disbelief.

"Oh my god. You guys are really against me and this whole marriage thing don't you?" Kaoru asked tiredly.

"No no. We're trying to help you now. Come, let's buy those pills!" Misao said.

"No. It's embarrassing to buy those kinds of pills." Kaoru shook her head and stubbornly sitting still on her seat. Megumi and Misao looked at each other before Misao tugged Kaoru's hand, forcing her to stand up, and Megumi took Kaoru's bag.

"It's okay, since I created the mixture of both medication in my house. I'll give you those instead!" Said Megumi happily. Misao and Megumi dragged Kaoru while she was thinking about the legal status of those drugs.

**OOOOO**

"Good evening, Kaoru."

"Good evening, Kenshin."

They looked at each other for a few seconds before moving on and did whatever they were about to do earlier. Kenshin went to the bathroom to freshen up, while Kaoru took the teapot, boiled water, a bottle of tea leaves and two teacups from the servant. She was about to make the tea when her eyes stumbled upon something.

"Chinese tea from Sano?" She muttered to herself. She opened one bag and inhaled it. _Smells good,_ she thought. It would be nice to drink something new from time to time, so she took the tea and made it in the pot for Kenshin and herself. Kenshin went out of the bathroom, wearing his bathrobe, and inhaled.

"You really like tea, don't you?" asked Kenshin. Kaoru smiled.

"Yeah. It's just a little habit of mine, drinking tea before going to sleep. You don't mind, do you? I mean, if you don't want to drink, you can just go to sleep without me." said Kaoru while pouring tea in the teacup.

"Nope. I like tea as well, and we don't have the chance to spend time together. Hopefully we can still have our honeymoon next month."

"Hopefully. You're a busy guy, though." Kaoru said with a little chuckle. Kenshin inhaled the aroma that came from the tea.

_Something smells different. _He thought, but then he saw the usual tea leaves bottle and sighed. _Maybe just my imagination._

The first sip tasted heavenly. The second and third sip went by so fast, and before he realised it, he already finished half of the tea in his cup. He started to feel a little hot, and loosened up his bathrobe. Then he looked at Kaoru, who looks a little blushed as well.

"Is it getting hot in here?" asked Kaoru while loosening up her thin silk robe and pulled her hair up. Kenshin looked at her like an idiot. He felt stupid for not noticing this before, but Kaoru seemed much, much more alluring than the day when he found her in black lingerie with garter. Now, he seemed to notice the smallest gestures she made, and somehow, his brainwave could turn it into something erotic.

When she lifted up her hands to tie her hair up, her full breasts went up as well, deepening the tasteful cleavage she had. He could see it clearly; the thin, skimpy, flesh coloured camisole she had under her robe, and a pair of nicely shaped breasts under that camisole.

_Shut it, Kenshin! Talk first, humping later! Talk, humping, talk, humping, talk... Oh god... her boobs.._

He looked away from her breasts and looked at her face. She tied her hair up and had a little blush on her cheek, and her face all of the sudden looked very erotic to him. Plump, pinkish lips, blushing cheek, beautiful sapphire eyes, alluring shape of neck that waiting to be kissed... The way she sipped her tea, the way she parted her mouth, the way her hands touched the fine teacup porcelain...

_Damn that lucky porcelain..._

"Ne, Kenshin, I have to talk to you about something."

"Ye... Yes?" T_hat lips. If I could just kiss and bite and suck that lips now..._

"I actually want to know about..."

In Kenshin's ears, Kaoru's voice slowly turned into a music that made him feel like taking her and ravishing her right then and there.

_Oh god, she's breathing. Her chest is going up and down. She should stop breathing if she wants me to pay attention. And why does her voice have to be this sensual? Does she always talk like that?_

He never felt like this before. He got hard just because she was catching her breath to continue talking. His brain somehow made her sounded like she was catching a breath because he was on top of her pleasuring her.

"So, Kenshin?" asked Kaoru. Kenshin startled.

"Oro?"

"Just tell me what you think." Kaoru said. Kenshin gulped and finished his whole tea. He stood up like a monkey, hoping that she could not see his now embarrassingly shaped crotch.

"I forgot something downstairs." He said while running out of the room.

Kaoru, who was left alone, sighed and took out the medicine bottle. She did buy the pills from Megumi, but she didn't feel like doing that to him. But it was so obvious that he felt so uncomfortable when she brought up the topic about his ex girlfriend. He looked restless and when she asked him about his feelings towards her, he ran away.

_Should I use this? If we didn't do it, will he go back to his ex?_

Kaoru sighed and moved the bottle from side to side. She opened the lid and took a pill. She played around with the pill and waved it on top of Kenshin's cup.

"Just one small pill..." _Will this small pill fix my marriage?_

Suddenly the door was slammed open, and Kaoru startled. She dropped the pill into his cup. Kenshin came in and smiled at her.

"I need another drink." He said while pouring the tea into his teacup. Kaoru looked at him in horror while He leaned down to take a sip.

"NOOOOO!" She stood up abruptly, took the cup from his hand and drank the whole tea in one gulp. Kenshin was surprised.

"Oro?" He mumbled, confused. Kaoru gave him her half full cup.

"Here, drink mine." She said sweetly. Kenshin looked at her with an unreadable expression and then gulped the whole tea from her cup.

They both were standing awkwardly. Kaoru sighed as she felt her temprature rising and some tiny annoying nudges all over her body. No, the nudges were actually kind of fun.

_Oh wow, I've never even noticed this before. He has such a fine figure...  
_

She looked at Kenshin's well toned chest and couldn't hold back her purr. Kenshin looked at her looking at him like she wanted him, and felt the hardness under his stomach again after hearing her purr. Kaoru walked back and dropped herself on the bed.

_No, Kaoru. You can't force him to do things he doesn't want to do. You were being evil, wanting to drug him and stuff. Now you just have to bear the heat the whole night._

"Do you want to sleep?" She asked, trying to sound normal. But the sound that came out of her mouth was a husky, sensual sound she didn't know existed inside her, until now. Kenshin cleared her throat with a weird look on his face.

"You know what, I will sleep on... Uh..." _Oh damn those legs, and those waist. I never knew that her skin is so milky and it actually look delicious... I wonder how it taste if I licked it? Oh what am I thinking? Stop! At this point, I will scare her off!_ "... The couch... I will sleep on the couch..."

"Why?"

_No way, he saw my intentions! He hates me... He hates me... He hates... Oh god, those chest, those neck... STOP! You're being disgusting, Himura Kaoru! _

_Himura Kaoru._

_Hmmm... That sounds nice. I wonder if he would say my full name when he makes love to me? Should I ask him to? I rather like the sound of it. I could make him say something like 'ride me harder Mrs. Himura!' while I'm on top of him...  
_

_DAMN IT, KAORU! FOCUS!_

Kenshin looked at her and sighed. "It's kinda hot tonight, so I thought if we sleep together we won't be able to sleep. I have an early meeting tomorrow."

Kaoru gasped. "No! I can't let you sleep on the couch! Not when you have a meeting tomorrow!" She stood up and took Kenshin's hand. "Come! Sleep on the bed!" She was going to drag him to the bed when she realized that even a little touch could make her body even hotter. She looked at Kenshin, afraid that he might find out, but then her eyes saw something.

Something unusual and hard under Kenshin's bathrobe, right between his thigh.

_No way! But I drank his pill!_ Kaoru thought. Kenshin groaned, extremely frustrated, and grabbed Kaoru's hand roughly, took her into his embrace forcefully, and crushed her lips with his.

"Wait!" Kaoru said. Kenshin looked at her with his amber eyes, and Kaoru gasped.

"Wait, what?" He asked with a sore voice.

"I asked you about... your ex girlfriend just then.. And you didn't answ- OH GOD..." Kaoru moaned as he sucked the little flesh on her neck.

"Ask anything you want... just let me do this when you're... hmmmm... asking..." He took off his bathrobe and revealed her toned chest and stomach. He was only wearing his pajamas pants, and that was enough to make Kaoru speechless. Kenshin took off her silk kimono with all his power that it was torn on the side. Kaoru sighed as he went back to licking and sucking her neck and cleavage.

"Do you still... lick... no... love your... uh... sex... hmmm... ex... Oh God Kenshin..." Kaoru grabbed his arms in ecstasy as his hand traveled south, touching and teasing her, and his mouth was playing with her reddened skin on her shoulder. Kenshin then let his hands wandering under her camisole, toucing and groping everything, before finally taking if off.

"No... We broke up... Long time ago... Moved on... Now shush..."

She moaned as he bit her hard. But then he stopped, and he looked at Kaoru's flustered face.

"Are you a virgin?"

"Yes..." Kaoru said, wondering why did he even stop to ask that. They looked at each other like they were hungry, but they stopped moving.

"It doesn't feel right if... uh... we don't know each other's feelings." Kenshin said while panting hard.

"Well, I'm falling for you." Kaoru purred.

"Me too. From the first time we met." Kenshin said with a husky voice.

"Oh God, I can't believe we're wasting time by talking about this. Shall we?" asked Kaoru cutely while playing with his hair. Kenshin looked at her like she was starving, and groaned.

"Oh yes... yes please..." He growled with excitement. He took Kaoru's hand from his hair, kissed it softly, but then jumped at her like a hungry beast.

Thank goodness their house was big, or else people would complain about the screaming, growling, moaning and creaking sound they made the whole night.

**OOOOO**

"So you did it! Great! How's your first time, Jou-chan? I heard you two couldn't get out of the bed for two whole days?" asked Sano curiously when they all gathered around in Kenshin and Kaoru's backyard for some tea. Kaoru blushed while Kenshin frowned, and even though he was half smiling, he looked serious.

"Don't ask stuff like that to my wife." said Kenshin while putting his arms around her.

"So, how did you guys do it? How did you guys managed to convey your feelings towards each other?" asked Megumi. Kenshin and Kaoru looked at each other.

"We talked." They said together in unison. Kenshin smiled a faint smile.

"A long, serious talk." Kenshin added while looking at his wife lovingly.

"Talking works well, you know." said Kaoru seriously.

"Because the key to a good relationship is communication." Kenshin finished her words.

"Yep, communication." Kaoru added with a flicker in her eyes.

Aoshi, Megumi, Sano and Misao were looking at the suspiciously, but they didn't say a word. Soon, they left the house, leaving Kenshin and Kaoru alone. Kaoru and Kenshin looked at the tea pot and looked at each other.

"Still have the tea, Kenshin?" asked Kaoru.

"Still have the pill, Kaoru?" asked Kenshin back.

They smiled meaningfully at each other and then left for the bedroom, with Kenshin carrying the teapot and their teacups.

Maybe, with the help of scented tea and blue pills, Mars and Venus aren't so different after all.


End file.
